Last week I wrote a post about my insecurities with my dancing. I thought it was private… I thought I was just venting more or less to myself and I had the visibility checked as “private”… well, I guess not. When I write a post, it puts it to LinkedIn, Google… and wherever else… so the post went public even though I changed it back to private after publishing it. Once it’s out there, it’s out there.
So it really was nothing for me to be upset about, I’m fine with people knowing that everything is not perfect and that I do have questions about things every so often.
Anyway, the day after I wrote that post, I went to another dance party at another studio. It was more of varying levels than the dance party that I wrote about. It was fun and I also had a slight revelation there. At the end of the studio’s dance party, they always have something called a #waltzwaterfall (yes, just figuring out hashtags). I normally love that because I get to dance the waltz with some really good dancers… and sometimes not. My first time around the waterfall was with a good dancer, then next, a new dancer, but he tried… we all have to start somewhere. Then the next round, there was a woman ahead of me and she was supposed to waltz with the next man in line… she looked at him, then me and said “you dance with him” and she moved onto the next person…. I had a puzzled look on my face and he said “I’m not a good dancer and she didn’t want to dance with me”.
That was just so rude! Wasn’t that woman a beginner once too? The waterfall rotation is really no more than just a quick spin around the floor and then you switch partners…. she couldn’t just “put up with” dancing with him just one time around? So I danced with him… and he could not dance. He didn’t know the steps… but he was trying. So I back-led him and we danced the waltz…. I didn’t put him back in the rotation, I just spent the rest of the waterfall helping him learn just a little basic step to get around the room. I missed out on some real nice waltzes, but what I gained was so much more! It put everything into perspective from the night before. I was no longer feeling as if I wasn’t getting anywhere with my dance, I just don’t dance the way they dance at that other studio. It felt good to help someone along the way, and also to make him realize that it’s ok to be a beginner and for me, to be ok with what I am.
I wish that my previous post never got out there to the public, it was nothing to be ashamed of, but I just wish it wasn’t there, so here this one will clarify it. It was just one night of huge insecurities. I never have insecurities like that about my dancing… I rarely ever come out of dancing feeling as if I’m not getting anywhere, I love it, I am not perfect, I am learning and it makes me happy, but every so often, as with everything else, you just have a bad day…it happens… and that’s what happened the night before. Since that night, I have had many more dance lessons (ballet, flamenco, ballroom) and some social dancing… it’s all back to normal again.
My new ballroom lessons are just amazing…. I am learning so much! My ballet is progressing as is my flamenco. So that was just one bad night…. but many, many good ones keeps me going and my love for dance just keeps growing. The better I get (and I am getting better), the more I love it and the more important it becomes in my life. It’s not only the dance, but I have met so many great people through dance. Dance is a part of me and always will be.
Again, thanks for reading, and this one is meant to be public.