I Am A Dancer

So far I’ve only been writing and posting photos of those adorable little baby elephants, but there are other things that I do in my life. I’ve always wanted to be a dancer, since I was very young, but I was too inhibited and I thought of myself as too awkward to dance. I tried ballet and it just was not pretty at all, I tried jazz… same thing. I did take tap lessons at a young age and really loved that but never continued it. When I was 19 I took some belly dancing lessons for awhile, it was fun and I did know how to do the belly roll and move my hips, so I felt a little better about that. I only did it for about a year and never went back to dancing. I always had visions of dancing like Vera Ellen in White Christmas, Ginger Rogers or any of the old dance musicals. Even Cinderella did that beautiful waltz with Prince Charming…. Yes, that how I wanted to dance, but I knew better and I knew I could never be a pretty dancer.

My daughter was a beautiful dancer… She danced ballet for many years, she studied in NYC and I loved bring a ballet mom and being involved in the world of ballet. I never considered doing it myself, if I couldn’t do it when I was young then I sure couldn’t do it as an adult. My daughter, Rachel, had an injury, something happened to her ankle tendon, and when she was 18, she had to stop dancing. She auditioned as a ballet major at Texas Christian University, and as it turned out, that was the last day she danced ballet. She was accepted as a Ballet Major at TCU, but ended up having to switch majors. She excelled at English and History and graduated Suma Cum Laude .

We lived in NJ and after Rachel graduated we moved to Fort Worth. There was a dance studio close to my new hone and I would drive by and watch the ballroom dancers in the window. I thought about it for almost 2 years, and then in March of 2010, I decided to check into lessons. I went to the Fort Worth Dance Center, and the woman behind that I was talking to asked me where I was from… New Jersey… And so was she! What better reason was there than to pick that studio to start learning ballroom. My husband joined me for a few lessons, but he hated it…. I, on the other hand, fell in love with it! There was no stopping me! My first instructor was Chris New and he helped me develop confidence and a love for dance.

I did a small competition and Showcase, I just loved it! I wasn’t very good at it,I was very technical minded and it took me a long time to get it. I stayed with. That studio until the following April, it was just too much money for me to be able to keep dancing there. I took a year of private lessons in another studio, but I wasn’t under contract with and dance studio anymore. I soldo felt as if
I really wasn’t progressing, and it was costing me a lot of money. I left there and decided to start flamenco and ballet lessons.,, I thought they would give me the foundation I needed to progress with ballroom. I took about a year and a half off..l did salsa lessons, swing lessons and ballet and flamenco. Then in the fall of 2012, I started some group and privates with Kane of My Salsa in Hurst. I found that I had a much better frame and was following better…. I am sure it had to do either learning ballet.

I was always hesitant to call myself a dancer…. My impression of a dancers was that in order to be a real dancer you have to be perfect. I was (and still am) very hard in myself. During that year and a half off of ballroom, while I concentrated on ballet and flamenco, I started noticing that people would ask me if I was a dancer. They said I had a dancer’s body and I moved like a dancer. I was so flattered but couldn’t see it… I still couldn’t do pirouettes, pique turns or any center work…. I had no turnout, couldn’t maintain my center, but, my body and my movements were all changing, yes even though I was older! I couldn’t call myself a dancer because I didn’t earn it yet. Then one day I realized, I don’t have to be perfect, I don’t have to be able to do all of the moves, I just have to do the very best I can and keep striving to get better. I dance almost every day, I am improving with all of my dances. I still dance ballet and flamenco, I also take salsa lessons and ballroom lessons. I am learning the Paso Doble, which is giving me a strength that is trickling down into all of my other dances. I am finding that everything is starting to come together and now I can actually say that I am a dancer!



2 responses to “I Am A Dancer”

  1. bonniehegartydiaz Avatar

    YES YOU ARE!!! Teaching early this morning.

    XOO B and p Bonnie BonnieDiazDance@gmail.com http://www.BallroomBarks.org http://www.BonnieDiazDance.wordpress.com


    1. Thank you Bonnie! You have been so instrumental in my journey as a dancer, artist and photographer.. You made me realize that I can do it and gave me so many opportunities along the way! Thank you for everything and mostly thank you for who you are! XO


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